This is not going to be the same review that I used to do the previous years especially since I couldn’t really identify something that stood out within each month. LOL!
Anyway, on a more serious note, 2016 has been a trying year for me. When they said that 2016 was a year of changes and transitions, well heck, they weren’t kidding. This was probably the most trying year, the year with the hardest challenges, the year that brought so many transitions it was really hard to keep up. This year was also the most frustrating one for me.
The Challenges and Transitions
This year, I have transitioned from being a weekend mom to being a full-time, working mom. Weekend mom, per my definition, is playing mommy to my son every weekend because it was only the weekends that I used to spend time with my little boy. Being a weekend mom didn’t really make that much of a change in my schedules before. My usual routine only got disrupted if my son was confined and I needed to go home to look after him. However, February of this year, I was able to bring my son with me to the big metro since I was able to get a stay-in nanny for him who agreed to stay in the big metro with us. That transition was actually a bit scary because that I had to make so many adjustments in our living arrangements as well as my schedule. No more working late hours because a little boy was waiting for me at home, no more sleeping until it was about time to prepare for work because I now have a little boy that I need to take care of before I leave. I’ve been running on about 4 hours sleep each day especially during therapy days and only get to sleep a bit longer if there were no urgent tasks needed to be done in the mornings.
Even my finances had to be adjusted big time. I had to cut down on my fancy coffee budget to almost none, taxi fare has been cut down to half as well, even eating out needed to be trimmed down to about once or twice a month. I never expected that having 3 persons in the house – with 1 being a toddler, would mean triple my usual food and grocery budget. LOL! That was a big adjustment for me. Making financial adjustments meant cutting down on most of the conveniences that I’ve enjoyed previously. I had to learn how to be frugal but at the same time, making sure that we had everything that we needed.
Another big transition would be at work. While I got promoted early in the year, functional-wise, I felt demoted. LOL! I guess this year, I have reached my limits professionally. I was too stressed at work, I felt like I have no growth any longer, I have never really felt supported. This year forced me to assess where I am and where I wanted to be in my career. While I have never written things down, I still have every single thought in my head about the pros and cons of staying and jumping ship. It’s almost the end of the year and I am nowhere near any clear decisions just yet. I guess, career-wise, I am looking for something more. Something that will keep the passion for excellence burning and not just trying to achieve mediocre targets. And I think that was one of the things why I have been feeling so low at work. I felt that I am no longer able to give excellent results and it is actually so hard to try and motivate myself to do my best. And the only thing that I can think of is that: I am so burned out already. And probably that was the bottomline of it all.
I also almost gave up this blog this year. I was having such a hard time coming up with ideas on what to blog, hence a lot of my blabbers and random thoughts that, most of the time, didn’t really make any sense. I was quite disheartened to really continue to blog given that I’ve seen a lot of so-called bloggers (even proud to call themselves as one) but checking their blogs, oh man, content-wise, there was no grammar checks done, photos posted are all over the place… It’s just a mess to look at basically. I do not have a perfect blog. I myself have grammatical errors that I missed correcting after every posts but I try my best to write with correct grammar and making sure that the lay out of every post is good and up to par. Everybody who sets up a blog nowadays call themselves bloggers regardless of the posts they make so it really made me think why the hell I’m still blogging and trying to make it work?
This year, our grandmother died as well. We’ve been in a matriarchal clan for almost 20 years (since my grandfather died), and losing our grandmother so close to the end of the year was so unexpected. We were all hoping that we would still spend this year’s holidays with her and we were all trying to make arrangements to ensure that everyone in the family could come and celebrate the festivities with her for probably the last holiday. Unfortunately, there were other plans for her. She was reunited with our grandfather towards the end of November.
2016 made me look into myself deeper. And it was a painful process. The lack of motivation to work, to need to look for better opportunities, the need to reassess where I am and where I messed up, the realization that somehow I failed somewhere and needed to identify so I could correct it, on top of waking up each day and fulfilling my role as a mom, a career woman and as an employer (to my son’s nanny, that is) has been the hardest experiences that I’ve gone through in my three decades of living on this planet. I’ve had too many sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep at times, trying to find ways to make it through the next day, the next week, the next month. I needed to acknowledge the fact that there were things that I needed to start letting go and there were things that I needed to acknowledge that I needed in order to grow.
While I really see 2016 as my hellish year, I still try to look at the good side of things. And while it was the hardest transition so far, I am really grateful every single day that I get to wake up each day and see my son beside me. I was able to watch him grow, I was able to see his developmental progress, I was given the opportunity to be a mommy to him.
While my finances suffered big time this year, I am grateful that, with all the budget cuts I made, I have learned how to be resourceful and learned the ropes in managing my finances. I am also grateful that because of this, I was forced to spend time in the kitchen and start cooking. LOL! Well, like I said before, I can cook but I am not a great one. And cooking during the weekends and seeing my son eat whatever I cook and even getting compliments from my son’s nanny about my cooking, it felt really good.
This year, I turn 10 years at work as well. How the hell did that happen? I never really expected that I will last this long in any company for that matter so spending 10 long years of my career life in a single company is already a milestone in itself. While my career journey has been chaotic and unpredictable for the past few years, I am grateful for all the learning opportunities that came my way. I have also experienced working for the greatest boss that I’ve had yet.
I am also grateful for family and friends who have provided support one way or another this year. I don’t need to name them, they all know who they are anyway. I am really thankful to have them as they have been my sound board, my backup, and just basically the crutches that I need during the hard times.
And of course, I have been grateful for the blogging opportunities I’ve had this year. Probably if not for those opportunities, I would have laid this blog to rest already. LOL! I might not call myself a blogger since I am not yet at par with the great bloggers out there, but I guess having the opportunities that I’ve had this year, I am on my way to being a legit one. Haha!
I am also grateful for all the learning opportunities that I’ve been given this year, both personally and professionally. I’ve had great takeaways from all the workshops and seminars I’ve attended and I hope that I will be able to put them all into practice.
I don’t know what 2017 will bring nor do I know what will happen, but, armed with everything I have learned about myself this year and being able to get through the toughest of times, I know that the next year will be so much greater and better in all things.
I look forward to a better year with greater opportunities in all aspects, new learning – hey, maybe I can learn to become a better baker, who knows? LOL!, I also look forward to greater abundance, greater health (mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally), clearer goals, and mostly, I look forward to becoming a better mommy to my little boy. Hey, who knows, maybe 2017 will also bring me Mr. Right! Hahaha! I am definitely not closing any doors on that one. 😛
So, to 2017, may it be filled with greater love, prosperity, better health, greater joy, unexpected blessings, the best opportunities yet to come. May 2017 be a new year with a smoother journey for this tired, control-freak momma who is still trying to figure out her way into the chaotic world of mommyhood and all things in between.
Happy New Year, everyone! 🙂